People relate in very different ways to their medicine cabinets. Some folks will toss out anything they’re no longer using. Others hold onto every med indefinitely, even when the expiration dates have passed.

I fall into the second category. And on the Jewish holiday of Simchat Torah a few weeks ago, that tendency may have saved someone’s life.

The shelves where I store my pills, potions and sprays are jam-packed – so much so that I’ve had to arrange the meds by category. There’s one box just for antibiotics. Another for bottles of medical cannabis. I store nasal sprays in a plastic bag.

The biggest box, by far, is for storing meds I took during my cancer journey. Some were specific to issues I had while hospitalized – Tamsulin after a catheter, Allopurinol to reduce uric acid that can accumulate during chemotherapy – while others are more “evergreen” which, although I’m not taking them now, I know I may need to again.

This includes a collection of opioids (Targin, Zaldiar and Percocet) which were invaluable for pain management during CAR-T and which I still use from time to time; sleeping pills (Zopiclone, Ambien and Trazodone) that I’ve since switched out for a more effective cocktail; and half-full boxes of Augmentin, Zinnat and Ciprodex to fight off lung infections and UTIs.

For meds that I continue to take on a daily basis, my wife, Jody, bought me one of those plastic pill boxes, the kind with seven slots (one for each day of the week) and four compartments per day, allowing me to stage my eleven daily meds.

Rabbi Ruth Kagan reading from the Torah on the holiday of Simchat Torah

We had gone to services on Simchat Torah morning at Nava Tehila, the Jewish Renewal community we’ve been members of for some 20 years. The joy spilling out from the congregation that day – which is always high energy – was even more over the top than usual as we were still buzzing from the release the day before of the 20 living hostages who had been held in Gaza for 738 days. The fact that Hamas launched its atrocities on southern Israel exactly two years before, on the same Jewish holiday, only heightened the impact.

One of the customs of Simchat Torah is to dance in circles with the Torah. At Nava Tehila, each joyous hakafa procession is assigned a “theme.” Two of these hakafot held special resonance for me.

In one, anyone who had overcome a major challenge in the past year was invited to enter the inner circle to hold the Torah scroll. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be so public about what I’d been through health-wise, but the rabbi was eyeing me specifically, so I had little choice but to comply.

The other hakafa that spoke to me was dedicated to individuals who had gone through something that nearly broke them, emotionally or physically. While the congregation danced in a counterclockwise direction, Jody and I moved slowly clockwise, where we were urged to make extended eye contact (sometimes accompanied by hugs) with the hundred-plus people holding the space. It sounded awkward but was, in the end, incredibly moving. I had tears in my eyes for much of the circle.

Jody embraced the hakafa that was dedicated to people who had performed or received some sort of chesed (kindness) over the past year – she had been a recipient of overwhelming chesed from our healing “village” while I was hospitalized, and afterward.

It was then that Ethan, a young man visiting from the U.S., accidentally ate a peanut which he didn’t notice when offered a snack bag containing what he thought were just seeds.

He was allergic to peanuts.

While his face wasn’t blowing up, nor was he experiencing anaphylaxis, where his throat could have closed down or his tongue swelled, making it difficult to breathe, he knew that could still happen – and fast.

“Does anyone have an EpiPen?” someone standing near him called out.

An EpiPen is an auto-injector that delivers epinephrine, a type of adrenaline, to swiftly counter the effects of a potentially deadly reaction.

“No, not an EpiPen,” Ethan clarified, which would explain why he wasn’t carrying one on his person, as people with severe allergies are strict to do. “What I need is prednisone.”

That’s when Jody sprang into action. She knew what I had in my medicine cabinet. And prednisone was prominent.

When I was receiving chemo last year for my lymphoma, part of the protocol included high-dose IV steroids in the hospital, followed by several days of 60-80 mg of prednisone at home. I had plenty left, in both 5 mg. and 20 mg. doses.

“We can help,” Jody approached Ethan. “Come with me, our house is only a five-minute walk away.”

Jody could have high-tailed it home and brought the meds back to services, but that would have doubled the time interval, and she didn’t want to risk Ethan waiting even a minute longer than he had to.

Ethan got my pills. Whether they helped or he was fortunate and wasn’t going to have an allergic attack in the first place (“it doesn’t always happen,” he explained to Jody), the young man made it back to the circle and we were able to continue our prayers with a clear conscience.

I’m sure I have some meds I don’t need anymore, and a few more that have probably expired, but I’m grateful that my hoarding mentality may have inadvertently saved a life.

That’s a Simchat Torah message of healing and joy neither Jody nor I are likely to forget anytime soon.

I first wrote about our Simchat Torah miracle for The Jerusalem Post.

Image of pills: Myriam Zilles on Unsplash

Image of Torah scroll: courtesy of Esther Mayim Chayim

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Was this the last Jacob’s Ladder ever?

The Abrams at Jacob’s Ladder 2025 (credit: Noam Amir)

Festival founders Yehudit and Menachem Vinegrad are staying mum. It really depends on whether they broke even on the weekend held this year between Yom Kippur and Sukkot.

Being a chutzpadik Israeli, I asked Menachem and Yehudit point-blank.

“We’re British!” Menachem protested. “We don’t talk about such things!”

Yehudit did share that the weekend was nearly entirely sold out, which is a good sign. But Jacob’s Ladder, the three-day extravaganza of country, bluegrass and indie pop that was held for dozens of years in the early summer, most recently at Kibbutz Nof Ginosar on the Sea of Galilee, has had some challenging ups and downs since Covid-19 led to the festival’s cancelation in 2020, followed by the years of war with Iranian proxies starting in October 2023 that left Israel’s north bereft of residents – let alone festival-goers.

2025’s reconstituted festival was held not on the expansive lawns of Ginosar, but at the tony Pastoral Hotel at Kibbutz Kfar Blum. Lush grounds, gorgeous rooms, and a proper concert hall – indoors – transformed the festival into a more high-end experience.

Grounds at Kfar Blum’s Pastoral Hotel (credit: Brian Blum)

That had its pros and cons: No more sweating in 36-degree humidity; the hall was air-conditioned to a frighteningly cold setting (we had to wear sweaters, and we were still shivering).

But the higher priced tickets and a prohibition on camping at the kibbutz (which constituted the main “accommodations” at Ginosar), along with a limit of 500 attendees at Kfar Blum (compared with Ginosar, which would regularly attract close to with 3,000 attendees) meant that this was a more geriatric crowd.

We did our best to bring the age range down.

One thing we’ve always loved about what’s been dubbed “Israel’s friendliest festival” was its multigenerational flavor – and so we were delighted when our daughter and son-in-law came with their two toddlers in tow. They may have been too young to really appreciate the panoply of bands appearing on stage, but the soap-filled bubble-wand stations on the lawn outside kept their attention.

Another difference – also in the “pro” column – between this scaled-back festival and its predecessors: There was no need to “split.” Rather than three stages offering up multiple acts at once, there was just the single indoor one, so you didn’t need to miss out on a new discovery.

And discoveries there were a plenty.

Speechless Band (credit: Speechless)

Before we even made it to the main hall, a three-piece Dixieland jazz band, the Speechless Band, played classic pop tunes (think “Stand by Me”) in a funky New Orleans style while we lined up to enter the hotel’s dining room for dinner. It was a joy to watch our nearly two-year-old granddaughter, Roni, dancing with her mother to Guy Gurevich’s expressive trumpet.

The highlights of Friday night’s performances included the five-piece Black Velvet, which has specialized in Irish and Celtic music since they debuted at Jacob’s Ladder in 1980. The band hosted guest musician Ronit Shahar, whose guitar-driven indie folk leanings blended well with Black Velvet’s banjos and flutes. Shahar has seven albums out (including the 1996 hit “Ahuv Yakar” – “Loved one”), so she may not be a true “discovery” for everyone!

Black Velvet was followed by the Rusties, a Neil Young cover band, that takes its name from Young’s iconic 1979 “Rust Never Sleeps” album. Lead singer Dan de Jong channels Neil Young quite nicely, but it was bassist Tzili Yanko who, by adding a female voice, transformed the Rusties into more of a Neil Young “re-interpretation ensemble” than your typical tribute group.

The Rusties (credit: Noam Amir)

Yanko has for years played guitar and sung backup vocals in Shlomo Artzi’s band. The Rusties’ performance was divided into two – the first half classic Neil Young acoustic songs (“Harvest Moon”) followed by a harder-rocking electric set (“Hey Hey, My My”).

The next day’s standouts included gospel singers Maple and the Ecosystem, whose band members parade on stage in gospel robes while pushing a message of ecological awareness; Shai Tochner and friends Gabriella and Abigail Lewis performing folk rock covers; and Yair Dalal and the Good Band, who combine the Iraqi folk music Dalal grew up with at home with Western classical music.

The festival closed with my personal favorite: the Abrams, the bluegrass turned country-pop duo, returning for a triumphant seventh visit to Jacob’s Ladder from their native Canada. The Abrams were the only band to come from overseas, and they made a point of showering the crowd with love and support – something we’ve been in dire need of as Israel is pilloried by the world media and boycotted by artistic communities.

There’s a special connection between our family and the Abrams: When Jacob’s Ladder was hosted at Ginosar, the Abrams would meander down to the beach to jam with the young people – including our kids. We’ve stayed in touch, and John and James Abrams have followed my cancer journey online. (Indeed, being able to attend Jacob’s Ladder was, for me, a personal celebration after the last hellish health year.)

Still, we were shocked – and delighted – when they gave our family a shout out from the stage – pointing to the very intergenerational mixing our family was so proud to continue.

The festival, as always, included Menachem’s corny jokes between sets. The best this year? “What do you call a fake noodle?” “An impasta.”

It’s unlikely that Jacob’s Ladder will be back for its former summer extravaganzas. But we can hope that the weekend at Kfar Blum was enough of a success that the Vinegrads will not be able to say good night just yet.

I first reviewed the possible “last” Jacob’s Ladder for The Jerusalem Post.

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Fine dining with the Houthis

by Brian on October 5, 2025

in Uncategorized

My birthday and my daughter, Merav’s birthday are only a week apart. So, this year, we decided to celebrate together by taking the whole family out to dinner at Janjaria, the over-the-top chef restaurant in the boutique Ramban Hotel in central Jerusalem. Janjaria is operated by the Mahaneyuda Group which has expanded in recent years to offer a number of kosher establishments as well as its traditional treife ones.

Houthi landscape (without missiles)

Janjaria is the kind of place that is frequently sold out, so we were fortunate to find a table for all seven of us. The wait staff pulls up a chair to explain what’s on offer, especially since the menu changes frequently (perhaps not daily as in TV’s The Bear).

We ordered several cocktails, starters including focaccia with homemade humus and muhamarrah (a dip with dried peppers, walnuts and pomegranate molasses), tuna tartare (which, as raw fish, I’m not allowed to eat for another three months following my cancer treatment) and two plates of chickpea-filled sambusak.

For main dishes, I opted for the Spaghettini Arrabiatia – which featured a spicy fish broth, shredded sea bass and cilantro on top of pasta – Merav and Aviv both had butcher block skewers of shishlik on a bed of roasted cabbage (my favorite of all the dishes I sampled from my kids), Gabe had a steak, Jody had a whole piece of lavrak (more sea bass), and Amir went for lamb neck siniyah plate – also outstanding. To end it all – since the evening was to mark our birthdays – there was the obligatory chocolate mousse with a candle on top and seven spoons.

The music was loud – that’s the vibe at all Mahaneyuda Group restaurants – and when we asked, the manager refused to turn it down, so this is not the best place for intimate conversations. But the food was as out of-this-world as was the final bill, which was probably the most we’d ever spent on a single night of fine dining.

Everything should have been perfect. And then we heard it on Merav’s mobile phone – the scritch-scratch warning that everyone in Israel is intimately familiar with now – an alert indicating “incoming missiles; take shelter.”

Darn Houthis again.

You get the scritch-scratch on your phone whether you want it or not. The only way to not hear it is to put your phone on airplane mode, which I do in any case when I go to sleep. (Save your chiding. My wife, Jody, leaves her phone on.)

When we’d hear the scritch-scratch at home, we developed a system. If it was an attack from Iran, we’d immediately head down to our apartment’s shared safe space. But Iran hasn’t attacked with its highly precise and lethal weapons since June – all the ballistic missiles and drones heading our way these days are from the Houthis in Yemen whose aim has been notoriously wonky (a direct hit on Ramon Airport and a hotel in Eilat do not make for a formidable terrorist force, just one that can annoy the heck out of you).

To appropriate my favorite quote from Nuchem Shtisel, who plays Akiva’s shifty uncle and father of his bride, Libby, in the Israeli TV series Shtisel, when the Houthis come a ‘calling, I want to scream out “reshoim arurim,” meaning, in Nuchem’s colorful Yiddish, “Damned wicked people” or “Cursed villains.” Seems appropriate.

The phone alert covers a wide area, but air raid sirens only sound if the missile is headed your way – and with the Houthis, many if not most would be intercepted outside of Israeli airspace or would fall in a location other than where we are in Jerusalem. So, we could be woken up by an alert but not actually need to rush to the shelter.

Jody, being an alert-abiding citizen, would bolt out of bed (for a while, the ideal missile arrival time seemed to be 4:30 am) and head to the shelter when and if the siren sounded. I would usually only get as far as the top of the staircase outside our front door, which was fine until the Houthis started using cluster bombs which can cause more damage over a wider area. At that point, I considered going down the two flights to the shelter, but the siren always seems to stop by the time I get to the stairs and then it seems silly to keep going, with our neighbors already heading back, even though those are the “rules.”

I’ve had sirens sound several times while I was hospitalized, but never in a restaurant. What would we do? I wondered. Could we stay in our seats and pretend it was already over, like at home? Would this ruin the evening?

The wait staff was as clear as the hospital nurses: Head to the safe space … now! I didn’t hear any sirens in the din of hundreds of diners getting up from their tables, although Merav says she did.

What happened next never happens at home.

Most of the restaurant’s patrons were congregated in the stairwell into which pranced the wait staff carrying trays of alcohol – arak and tequila, specifically. They turned the Houthi missiles into an opportunity for additional inebriation. They had obviously discussed and practiced this maneuver.

I hadn’t drunk any alcohol in ages – it doesn’t tend to mix well with my meds – but this time I nursed a shot of tequila. I think we all earned it.

I thought Janjaria’s freshly proffered shots were one-of-a-kind, but my friend Sarah Tuttle Singer was dining at another top-ranked Jerusalem restaurant, Eucalyptus, at the same hour, and there, too, the wait staff brought arak into the safe room.

“We cursed the Houthis, and toasted one another,” Sarah summed up her evening.

Yet another way Israelis are coping with a situation – missiles during dinner – that may be unique in the world.

I first wrote about missiles from Yemen and tequila from Israel for The Jerusalem Post.

Photo by Andrew Svk on Unsplash

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What a way to end it all

by Brian on September 28, 2025

in Cancer,Health,Science,Travel

Another day, another urinary tract infection.


Actually, I didn’t know for sure until a couple of days ago; the three previous urine cultures I had done over a period of several months all came out negative, which was driving me batty, since I am now intimately familiar with the sort of burning and urgency that go with a UTI, an unpleasant infection that has accompanied me ever since I was hospitalized for my CAR-T cancer treatment in May.

I saw a new urologist who scheduled me for a battery of tests to rule out bladder cancer. I didn’t know this urologist that well…maybe he’s an alarmist?

Still, it got me wondering and worrying: What would I do if the CAR-T didn’t work or didn’t give me the long remission I’m so hoping for? What if the chemo induced a secondary cancer, as is known to sometimes happen? Would I be brave and strong enough to go through an aggressive treatment again and suffer through the inevitable side effects?

Would it be better, at that point, to jump off the medical roulette wheel and decide, Let’s stop everything, enough is enough?

That’s a question Canadian hematologist Benjamin Chin-Yee asks in an article in Aeon magazine.  The societal expectations around learning you have cancer are to fight, he writes, no matter what the physical and emotional cost. Think of the roadside billboards screaming out “Fight like hell” or “We fight for you.” It’s almost as if cancer centers exist less to cure and more to recruit patients.

This approach too often results in overtreatment. In one third-season episode of the Sex and the City reboot And Just Like That…, Harry is diagnosed with prostate cancer. “It’s small and they caught it early,” he tells his wife, Charlotte. Nevertheless, he jumps at having it removed entirely, resulting in a semi-comedic narrative arc around dire sexual dysfunction.

“In the U.S. alone, more than 50,000 men are diagnosed each year with a low-risk instance of [prostate cancer],” notes Chin-Yee. “These cancers rarely spread, and observation is a safe approach, with outcomes equivalent to surgery or radiation.”

Overtreatment isn’t limited to just the early stages of disease, prostate or otherwise.

“For many, the final stretch of life will be marked by intervention,” Chin-Yee continues. “One-in-three will receive aggressive treatment in their last months, and one-in-five will get chemotherapy in their final weeks. These treatments rarely prolong life and almost always diminish its quality … We treat not because it helps – but because the alternative feels like giving up.”

Once it had “transformed,” my cancer was not a slow-growing one. It was aggressive and would have killed me within weeks had I not opted to “fight.” But the question of “the next time” led me down a strange – and very specific – rabbit hole: I began looking into places where, if I decided against further treatment, assisted suicide is legal. The idea of slowly deteriorating at home or in a hospital, even with a strong continuous morphine drip, somehow seemed less appealing than getting it over quickly.

My friends would naturally be aghast, and my children wouldn’t want to say goodbye so soon. I would miss my grandchildren terribly, but I found support in the most surprising of places: my wife.

“I would be horribly sad, but I couldn’t bear to see you suffer so much again,” Jody consoled me.

Knowing that, even if I am cured of this cursed cancer, my days of trekking the Himalayas or throwing ecstatic toddlers up in the air were most likely over, I found myself from time to time entertaining the option.

The closest location for Israelis is Switzerland. The Swiss assisted suicide organization Pegasos is perhaps the pioneer in what people often think of as “euthanasia.” Just don’t call it that: Swiss law specifies that the person who wishes to die must press the button him or herself; it cannot be based on self-interest or monetary gain by a third party. The cost: around $10,000.

When the button is pressed, the lethal drug Nembutal is administered intravenously. The patient dies within minutes. Pegasos allows friends, family and even pets to be present. You can play your favorite music while you go. You must be 18 or older and a psychological evaluation is conducted first.

The process is not foreign for our family. Earlier this year, we put our 14-year-old Maltese to sleep when his tumors, incontinence and fatigue robbed him of any remaining quality of life.

Assisted suicide is available now in some eleven U.S. states, as well as Canada, Germany, Australia, New Zealand, the Netherlands, the U.K. and more, although Switzerland, with its funky funiculars, seems like the prettiest.

It’s nevertheless hard – nay, impossible – for me to imagine actually taking such an extreme step, even with Jody’s unexpected support. I imagine I would pull back from the brink, perhaps at the last minute, unless all attempts at curing my cancer were truly and finally exhausted.

In that respect, this article might be more of a thought experiment – albeit a morbid one – than an actionable plan.

Indeed, perhaps that was the point in writing this essay in the first place: Dive down deep to the brink of despondency in order to convince myself to ultimately go for the doctor’s next recommendation, even if there will be troublesome side effects, all the while hoping there will be no need for future treatment.

Moreover, there are people who have overcome much more limiting circumstances than me. Paraplegics. Hostages languishing in Hamas tunnels. My father, who contracted polio as a child and ended up in a wheelchair in his old age, only then to die of the same cancer I have now.

I owe him – and the family that loved him (and I know still very much loves me) – more than a shuffle off to Switzerland in a moment of despair.

I first wrote about assisted suicide for The Jerusalem Post.

Photo by Kabun Ho on Unsplash

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Actually, I did die

by Brian on September 7, 2025

in A Parent in Israel,Cancer,Health

A few columns back, I wrote about how I almost died while waiting to start the CAR-T cancer treatment that ultimately saved my life.

Picture taken just prior to receiving CAR-T at Hadassah Medical Center

But actually, I did die – in a way.

Not in the sense that my organs shut down and I shuffled off to the great unknown. But the man I used to be is gone and it’s not clear if he’ll ever be back.

The uncertainty of it all is killing me, metaphorically.

Physically, the road to restoring my strength and regaining the 15 kg I lost has been painfully slow. I still crap out walking after more than 15 to 20 minutes (although when I was first released, I could barely get across the room and always used a cane, even indoors).

It’s not all doom and gloom: I can tell that I’m getting stronger and, in the last few weeks, I managed to gain three kilograms. Is my digestive system “re-setting?”

Still, the ongoing fatigue has forced my wife, Jody, and I to reevaluate all manner of activities that defined our life together before cancer.

How will we travel in the future? My ability and enthusiasm for hiking up the urban hills of Lisbon and Porto, as we did with gusto during our 2024 trip to Portugal, may not return.

On our last vacation in Portugal

Will we become cruise ship aficionados, instead, lounging around the sun deck rather than energetically zip-lining in Honduras? (We actually did that in 2019…as an outing while on a cruise!) For our wedding anniversary this year, we went to a fancy hotel and hung out most of the day at the infinity pool overlooking the Mediterranean.

Beyond the physical, emotionally, our marriage has changed, too. How could it not, with me in survival mode for months, needing help just to get in and out of bed, while Jody was thrust into a caregiving role she never asked for that left her feeling frustrated, discouraged and angry.

“Many carers experience sadness, fear, anxiety, and feelings of isolation,” writes Jonathan Gluck in his memoir, “An Exercise in Uncertainty,” about his own journey with a different but related blood cancer to mine. “Those who are forced to put career, family, or other goals aside may also feel resentment…that can lead to anger about not being able to plan their life, opportunities lost, and dreams deferred.”

I’m not ashamed to say that our marriage of over 37 years also died, in that it won’t be the same going forward. Studies indicate that caregivers and their sick spouses tend towards one of two outcomes: For couples with poor communication skills, divorce is likely; for those who know how to talk to each other, the marriage ends up stronger than before.

Jody and I are committed to landing in the latter category. While my main motivator since I was released from the hospital has been to return – to get back to the normalcy we once had – Jody prefers looking forward: at how we can build a better future.

That fits with something celebrity psychotherapist and podcaster Esther Perel is fond of saying: that most people will go through two or three marriages in their lifetimes…often with the same partner!

Indeed, perhaps the most confounding part of our evolving relationship, post-CAR-T, is living with uncertainty. When a routine blood test exposed a marker that could indicate an early return of my cancer, both Jody and I freaked out. My next PET CT was still several weeks away. (The marker was fine on the subsequent blood draw; was the first one a fluke?)

Uncertainty anxiety tends to follow a U-shaped curve. You worry a lot at the beginning, forget about it in the middle, then worry again at the end, just prior to getting the anticipated news or starting a test or procedure.

In that sense, uncertainty is downright toxic.

Studies have shown that “people who have a 50% chance of receiving an electric shock feel more stress than people who have a 100% chance,” notes Amherst College professor of psychology Catherine Sanderson. Anticipation of pain feels worse than the pain itself.

Similarly, people who are widowed experience lower rates of premature death than people who are divorced. Why? Divorce brings out feelings of uncertainty with people asking themselves “endless questions: ‘Could we someday get back together? Is this person going to get married again? Are we going to have a conflict about child support?’” Sanderson points out in Gluck’s book. “Being widowed is a devastating event…but at least there’s a finality to it. You’re not wondering, ‘Is this person going to be alive again?’”

People who worry that they’re going to lose their jobs in a rumored layoff have more anxiety than those who are actually fired.

Is there any way out of the uncertainty paradox?

It can be helpful to look for silver linings in bad news. This can happen before the news is received, while one is preparing for the worst. Kate Sweeny, a psychology professor at the University of California, Riverside calls this “preemptive benefit finding” or “predemption.”

I’ve never been a big fan of the serenity prayer, but Sanderson stresses it can help with uncertainty anxiety. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Another suggestion: Become more involved in understanding your situation. “Participants in [Sweeny’s] studies have reported doing things such as getting more familiar with their medical insurance policy, researching the best doctor to see, and investigating what clinical trials are available, even before they receive a diagnosis,” Gluck writes.

I’ll be taking all this into account as we strive to understand the man I am now, eschew uncertainty as best we can, and explore the ins and outs of our “third marriage.”

I first wrote about uncertainty anxiety for The Jerusalem Post.

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How much should you push yourself?

August 24, 2025

My brother and I have the opposite problem: While I’m in a race to gain back some of the weight cancer stole from me, he is looking for ways to lose a few pounds. His latest idea: cut out all carbs and sugar. That means no bread, no sandwiches, no pizza or garlic Indian naan; […]

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It takes a village

August 10, 2025

When I contracted my second urinary tract infection in a month (infections are probably the most common side effect of the CAR-T treatment for blood cancers that I received and have been writing about over the past several months), I needed some antibiotics in a hurry. The simple act of peeing had become torturously painful […]

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My coma of denial

July 27, 2025

Everyone else saw it. My wife, Jody, saw it. My kids all saw it. The few friends who were able to visit me in the hospital saw it. Even my doctors saw it. Everyone but me could see that I was dying. “I don’t think he’s going to make it long enough to start the […]

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Cloudy with a chance of missiles

July 13, 2025

In case of missiles, it takes about two-and-a-half minutes for a hospital patient like me to get out of bed and reach the protected space.

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This is your brain on mushrooms

June 29, 2025

“Drink it down slowly,” instructs Shawn, my guide for what will be one of the most unusual therapy sessions I’ve embarked upon, unusual because the chunks in my beverage is not chocolate.

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