The patient hiker

by Brian on November 30, 2025

in Cancer,Health,Mindfulness,Travel

What do the Trump plan for Gaza, hiking Nahal Katlav in the Jerusalem Hills and getting CAR-T treatment for cancer have in common? They’re all representative of non-linear processes that are characterized by frequent ups and downs.

Hiking Nahal Katlav for Aviv’s bar mitzvah 14 years ago

Viewing life this way is an idea I’m trying to incorporate into my personal, professional and even political perspectives.

My thinking on this started with an episode of Ark Media’s “For Heaven’s Sake” podcast in which hosts Donniel Hartman and Yossi Klein Halevi discussed how the ceasefire and rebuilding of Gaza is going to be a “process … [one that’s] “going to take time.”

Disarming Hamas, reconstituting Gaza, getting other Middle Eastern nations on board and expanding the Abraham Accords are all things I want to happen now. But we need patience. Nothing is about to be definitively solved tomorrow.

“It’s going to be day by day,” Hartman told a somewhat skeptical Klein Halevi, or even “month by month for us to be able to see whether we’re achieving what we hoped for.”

Political, along with societal, change is notoriously slow. It’s not a switch or a quick fix. Will a ceasefire and the return of hostages result in a reduction in antisemitism and an end to boycotts, so that international musicians will play again in Israel and Jewish authors won’t be banned from bookstores in Brooklyn?

Over time, I’d like to think so, but long-term processes are more about embracing “a cycle of endless refinement and continuous improvement,” University of Baltimore economist Prof. Barry Brownstein writes. At best, there will be incremental wins.

Having patience with the inherent ups and downs is essential to the joy of hiking, too. Some stretches will be easy, while others are brutally uphill, but it’s all still one hike.

I mentioned Nahal Katlav, which has long been one of our family’s favorites. You start near Bar Giora and descend into a tree-lined valley.

But what goes down must eventually come up. And that “up” is particularly tough. At one point, you’re literally scrambling up rocks on the side of the mountain with little to hold onto. Unless you have two cars and can park one at the bottom, or you’re someone who strives for a strenuous challenge, you have to accept the good with the bad. Otherwise, you’ll miss out on some of this country’s most stunning scenery.

That maps to my experience recovering from CAR-T, the cancer treatment that kept me in the hospital for six weeks earlier this year. I knew I needed to do it, yet the recovery has been longer and more difficult than I’d anticipated; it’s been more than six months since my discharge, and I am still fatigued, immunocompromised and haven’t been able to regain the 15 kg I lost along the way.

That’s when my impatience kicks into overdrive. I want to get back to the man I was. I want to do more than watch TV every night. I want to travel again. I want to be able to eat my favorite foods without feeling nauseous. I want to push my grandchildren on the swings in the park. I want to get back on our elliptical machine.

I’m confident I eventually will. Just not yet – it’s a process. Some days I can walk for an hour with my arms swinging briskly. Other days I can barely get out of bed. And I never know which day it’s going to be when I wake up. Healing is unapologetically non-linear.

My body is akin to hiking Nahal Katlav. Sometimes you’re tired and sometimes more energized. A change in language is key here. Say: “I am in a healing process” rather than “I’m frustrated that I’m not already fully healed.” Can I visualize healing as a graph, an upward trend, rather than “I must be ‘fixed’ by such and such a date.”

The hike metaphor also works as a tool to interrupt the destructive loops of grief and control-seeking I periodically find myself falling into. If I push hard enough – on doctors, on my wife, on myself – I think maybe I can force my healing to arrive faster. Reframing it as a hike is thus a way of reminding myself that “awful today” doesn’t mean “failed forever.” It provides a mental handhold that stops the spiral. I can say, “This part is a vertical scramble. I’ve done scrambles before. Scrambles end.”

There’s one more way to understand and manage impatience. We as modern, Western adults have gotten used to life running smoothly. So, when change doesn’t happen in an instant, we feel furious, like reality has sabotaged some unwritten contract.

“Why isn’t life doing what I ordered?” we ask ourselves. But life doesn’t work like DoorDash or Wolt. And even those amazing delivery services sometimes suffer delays and disappointments. The motorcycle breaks down. The pizza is undercooked. Not everything – perhaps very little, indeed – is in our control.

Similarly, when I’m at my computer and the Internet goes out. I curse the fiber provider, forgetting the blessing of how I now have access to essentially all the information in the world, literally at my fingertips.

Thinking in terms of ups and downs might sound trivial, like a bad cliché. Doesn’t everyone know that’s how the world works? Apparently not. Thinking about health in particular – not to mention the political meandering endemic to our increasingly populist governments – as a hike, with unavoidable ascents and descents, and painfully slow change, has helped me calm down, to feel less wronged and angry.

Life is not a straight, flat road, but “patient hiking” is definitely worth it.

I first wrote about patient hiking for The Jerusalem Post.

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The hardest part was the waiting.

I was at the hospital, prepared to be called into surgery for a procedure that would biopsy some small lesions on the lining of my bladder. I had been told to start fasting at 9:30 am (as the procedure was to be done under general anesthesia) and to arrive at the medical center by 1:00 pm.

I wasn’t taken into surgery for another seven hours, by which time I was hungry, weak and frustrated. No one on the staff could (or seemed to be willing to find out) when the surgery would start.

The procedure itself was uneventful, but my wife, Jody, and I were perturbed by what seemed to be a pervasive lack of communication.

That got me wondering: Was this just the way that hospitals and surgeries work? Or was there a shortage of doctors contributing to the delay and inability to share basic, comforting information to an anxious patient in pain?

It’s no secret that some of Israel’s best and brightest have left the country. A shocking report released last month by the Knesset’s Committee for Immigration, Absorption and Diaspora Affairs revealed “a decline of 125,000 people from the country’s migration balance since 2022,” according to The Jerusalem Post. Committee chairperson MK Gilad Kariv dubbed it “a tsunami of Israelis choosing to leave the country.”

Specifically, in 2022, Israel’s population decreased by 29,700 citizens due to emigration, Dr. Ayala Eliyahu, from the Knesset’s Research and Information Center, noted. (The website Statista disagrees, showing an increase in total population during 2022.) In 2023, it was 58,600, and in 2024 up to August, another 36,900 Israelis left. The same Knesset agency also reported a 53% drop in returning residents between 2020 and 2024.

Rotem Shtarkman and Ronny Linder of Haaretz spoke to Prof. Gil Fire, deputy director of Tel Aviv Sourasky Medical Center in 2024. Their topic was the impact of emigration, specifically on the medical system. “Something is happening to us that didn’t happen in the past,” Fire admitted.

In particular, after October 7, he said, a phenomenon of “silent departure, under the radar” has been occurring. “It’s not vociferous, not explicit…they’re disguising it.” But unlike before the war, “this time the leaving is large-scale and it’s significant.”

Fire described three scenarios affecting the medical community. One is physicians who are sent by hospitals in Israel abroad on fellowships for a year or two. Most of them return with enhanced experience that improves medicine in Israel. Sometimes they delay their return but only a few don’t come back at all.

A second group is physicians who move abroad because their spouse receives a compelling job offer with a substantial salary.

A third group – the smallest, Fire said – simply leave with no job offer at all. “All of them are Zionists, patriots, most of them did military service and they are ashamed they will not be living in Israel.”

The phenomenon of physicians leaving the country gained momentum in 2023 with the launch of the judicial reform. A WhatsApp group for doctors seeking advice on relocating overseas was formed, attracting some 3,000 physicians.

That prompted Health Ministry Director-General Moshe Bar Siman-Tov to publicly urge doctors not to “give up” on Israel’s public health system. “Stay here and you will be part of setting the rules by which it operates,” he said.

Nor is finding a job overseas a piece of cake, another Israeli physician I spoke with told me. He trained in Israel and spent three years in the U.S. on a surgical fellowship. “It’s not that easy to just start practicing. There are a lot of licensing requirements. The U.S. wouldn’t recognize my credentials and let me just stay and start practicing. I would have had to retrain.”

My hematologist at Hadassah believes the issue of medical emigration, while real, is overblown, fueled more by headlines than by reality. “I’ve received numerous calls by reporters begging me to say that I’m leaving the country because of the situation. I’m not going anywhere.”

The results of Israel’s next election may have a more significant impact. A survey published by the N12 news site’s Magazine found that every sixth Israeli (not just doctors) said they would consider leaving the country, depending on the results. The Jewish People Policy Institute reported in 2024 that political turmoil has led one in four Jewish Israelis to say they would emigrate “if given the opportunity.”

Israel has suffered from a shortage of physicians long before recent events. New medical schools in Safed and Ariel are now operating to help increase the supply of medical personnel. The Israeli government also offers grants of up to NIS 400,000 to encourage foreign doctors to immigrate if they will work in the Negev or Galilee regions.

The results are encouraging: Since October 2024, the number of new immigrants stands at 53,765, according to the Aliyah and Integration Ministry, which added that 519 new doctors immigrated to Israel in 2024. Following a Nefesh b’Nefesh-sponsored “Medex” job fair held in New Jersey earlier this year, close to 100 applications from doctors asking to transfer their medical licenses to Israel were received. Another 100 doctors attended a similar Medex event in London.

I’d be negligent if I didn’t point out that Israel’s medical system remains one of the best in the world. The crossover between HMOs, hospitals, universities and startups ensures we have the world’s most cutting-edge technologies. In the six years I’ve needed cancer treatments, I’ve never been denied a medicine or a procedure, a practice in which insurers in the U.S. seem to delight.

I am hopeful that any looming medical brain drain can be staunched before the bleeding becomes an irreversible crisis. As with most Israelis, my patience has, from time to time, been severely tested, but I refuse to lose hope.

I first wrote about the impact of emigration on the Israeli medical system for The Jerusalem Post.

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People relate in very different ways to their medicine cabinets. Some folks will toss out anything they’re no longer using. Others hold onto every med indefinitely, even when the expiration dates have passed.

I fall into the second category. And on the Jewish holiday of Simchat Torah a few weeks ago, that tendency may have saved someone’s life.

The shelves where I store my pills, potions and sprays are jam-packed – so much so that I’ve had to arrange the meds by category. There’s one box just for antibiotics. Another for bottles of medical cannabis. I store nasal sprays in a plastic bag.

The biggest box, by far, is for storing meds I took during my cancer journey. Some were specific to issues I had while hospitalized – Tamsulin after a catheter, Allopurinol to reduce uric acid that can accumulate during chemotherapy – while others are more “evergreen” which, although I’m not taking them now, I know I may need to again.

This includes a collection of opioids (Targin, Zaldiar and Percocet) which were invaluable for pain management during CAR-T and which I still use from time to time; sleeping pills (Zopiclone, Ambien and Trazodone) that I’ve since switched out for a more effective cocktail; and half-full boxes of Augmentin, Zinnat and Ciprodex to fight off lung infections and UTIs.

For meds that I continue to take on a daily basis, my wife, Jody, bought me one of those plastic pill boxes, the kind with seven slots (one for each day of the week) and four compartments per day, allowing me to stage my eleven daily meds.

Rabbi Ruth Kagan reading from the Torah on the holiday of Simchat Torah

We had gone to services on Simchat Torah morning at Nava Tehila, the Jewish Renewal community we’ve been members of for some 20 years. The joy spilling out from the congregation that day – which is always high energy – was even more over the top than usual as we were still buzzing from the release the day before of the 20 living hostages who had been held in Gaza for 738 days. The fact that Hamas launched its atrocities on southern Israel exactly two years before, on the same Jewish holiday, only heightened the impact.

One of the customs of Simchat Torah is to dance in circles with the Torah. At Nava Tehila, each joyous hakafa procession is assigned a “theme.” Two of these hakafot held special resonance for me.

In one, anyone who had overcome a major challenge in the past year was invited to enter the inner circle to hold the Torah scroll. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be so public about what I’d been through health-wise, but the rabbi was eyeing me specifically, so I had little choice but to comply.

The other hakafa that spoke to me was dedicated to individuals who had gone through something that nearly broke them, emotionally or physically. While the congregation danced in a counterclockwise direction, Jody and I moved slowly clockwise, where we were urged to make extended eye contact (sometimes accompanied by hugs) with the hundred-plus people holding the space. It sounded awkward but was, in the end, incredibly moving. I had tears in my eyes for much of the circle.

Jody embraced the hakafa that was dedicated to people who had performed or received some sort of chesed (kindness) over the past year – she had been a recipient of overwhelming chesed from our healing “village” while I was hospitalized, and afterward.

It was then that Ethan, a young man visiting from the U.S., accidentally ate a peanut which he didn’t notice when offered a snack bag containing what he thought were just seeds.

He was allergic to peanuts.

While his face wasn’t blowing up, nor was he experiencing anaphylaxis, where his throat could have closed down or his tongue swelled, making it difficult to breathe, he knew that could still happen – and fast.

“Does anyone have an EpiPen?” someone standing near him called out.

An EpiPen is an auto-injector that delivers epinephrine, a type of adrenaline, to swiftly counter the effects of a potentially deadly reaction.

“No, not an EpiPen,” Ethan clarified, which would explain why he wasn’t carrying one on his person, as people with severe allergies are strict to do. “What I need is prednisone.”

That’s when Jody sprang into action. She knew what I had in my medicine cabinet. And prednisone was prominent.

When I was receiving chemo last year for my lymphoma, part of the protocol included high-dose IV steroids in the hospital, followed by several days of 60-80 mg of prednisone at home. I had plenty left, in both 5 mg. and 20 mg. doses.

“We can help,” Jody approached Ethan. “Come with me, our house is only a five-minute walk away.”

Jody could have high-tailed it home and brought the meds back to services, but that would have doubled the time interval, and she didn’t want to risk Ethan waiting even a minute longer than he had to.

Ethan got my pills. Whether they helped or he was fortunate and wasn’t going to have an allergic attack in the first place (“it doesn’t always happen,” he explained to Jody), the young man made it back to the circle and we were able to continue our prayers with a clear conscience.

I’m sure I have some meds I don’t need anymore, and a few more that have probably expired, but I’m grateful that my hoarding mentality may have inadvertently saved a life.

That’s a Simchat Torah message of healing and joy neither Jody nor I are likely to forget anytime soon.

I first wrote about our Simchat Torah miracle for The Jerusalem Post.

Image of pills: Myriam Zilles on Unsplash

Image of Torah scroll: courtesy of Esther Mayim Chayim

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Was this the last Jacob’s Ladder ever?

The Abrams at Jacob’s Ladder 2025 (credit: Noam Amir)

Festival founders Yehudit and Menachem Vinegrad are staying mum. It really depends on whether they broke even on the weekend held this year between Yom Kippur and Sukkot.

Being a chutzpadik Israeli, I asked Menachem and Yehudit point-blank.

“We’re British!” Menachem protested. “We don’t talk about such things!”

Yehudit did share that the weekend was nearly entirely sold out, which is a good sign. But Jacob’s Ladder, the three-day extravaganza of country, bluegrass and indie pop that was held for dozens of years in the early summer, most recently at Kibbutz Nof Ginosar on the Sea of Galilee, has had some challenging ups and downs since Covid-19 led to the festival’s cancelation in 2020, followed by the years of war with Iranian proxies starting in October 2023 that left Israel’s north bereft of residents – let alone festival-goers.

2025’s reconstituted festival was held not on the expansive lawns of Ginosar, but at the tony Pastoral Hotel at Kibbutz Kfar Blum. Lush grounds, gorgeous rooms, and a proper concert hall – indoors – transformed the festival into a more high-end experience.

Grounds at Kfar Blum’s Pastoral Hotel (credit: Brian Blum)

That had its pros and cons: No more sweating in 36-degree humidity; the hall was air-conditioned to a frighteningly cold setting (we had to wear sweaters, and we were still shivering).

But the higher priced tickets and a prohibition on camping at the kibbutz (which constituted the main “accommodations” at Ginosar), along with a limit of 500 attendees at Kfar Blum (compared with Ginosar, which would regularly attract close to with 3,000 attendees) meant that this was a more geriatric crowd.

We did our best to bring the age range down.

One thing we’ve always loved about what’s been dubbed “Israel’s friendliest festival” was its multigenerational flavor – and so we were delighted when our daughter and son-in-law came with their two toddlers in tow. They may have been too young to really appreciate the panoply of bands appearing on stage, but the soap-filled bubble-wand stations on the lawn outside kept their attention.

Another difference – also in the “pro” column – between this scaled-back festival and its predecessors: There was no need to “split.” Rather than three stages offering up multiple acts at once, there was just the single indoor one, so you didn’t need to miss out on a new discovery.

And discoveries there were a plenty.

Speechless Band (credit: Speechless)

Before we even made it to the main hall, a three-piece Dixieland jazz band, the Speechless Band, played classic pop tunes (think “Stand by Me”) in a funky New Orleans style while we lined up to enter the hotel’s dining room for dinner. It was a joy to watch our nearly two-year-old granddaughter, Roni, dancing with her mother to Guy Gurevich’s expressive trumpet.

The highlights of Friday night’s performances included the five-piece Black Velvet, which has specialized in Irish and Celtic music since they debuted at Jacob’s Ladder in 1980. The band hosted guest musician Ronit Shahar, whose guitar-driven indie folk leanings blended well with Black Velvet’s banjos and flutes. Shahar has seven albums out (including the 1996 hit “Ahuv Yakar” – “Loved one”), so she may not be a true “discovery” for everyone!

Black Velvet was followed by the Rusties, a Neil Young cover band, that takes its name from Young’s iconic 1979 “Rust Never Sleeps” album. Lead singer Dan de Jong channels Neil Young quite nicely, but it was bassist Tzili Yanko who, by adding a female voice, transformed the Rusties into more of a Neil Young “re-interpretation ensemble” than your typical tribute group.

The Rusties (credit: Noam Amir)

Yanko has for years played guitar and sung backup vocals in Shlomo Artzi’s band. The Rusties’ performance was divided into two – the first half classic Neil Young acoustic songs (“Harvest Moon”) followed by a harder-rocking electric set (“Hey Hey, My My”).

The next day’s standouts included gospel singers Maple and the Ecosystem, whose band members parade on stage in gospel robes while pushing a message of ecological awareness; Shai Tochner and friends Gabriella and Abigail Lewis performing folk rock covers; and Yair Dalal and the Good Band, who combine the Iraqi folk music Dalal grew up with at home with Western classical music.

The festival closed with my personal favorite: the Abrams, the bluegrass turned country-pop duo, returning for a triumphant seventh visit to Jacob’s Ladder from their native Canada. The Abrams were the only band to come from overseas, and they made a point of showering the crowd with love and support – something we’ve been in dire need of as Israel is pilloried by the world media and boycotted by artistic communities.

There’s a special connection between our family and the Abrams: When Jacob’s Ladder was hosted at Ginosar, the Abrams would meander down to the beach to jam with the young people – including our kids. We’ve stayed in touch, and John and James Abrams have followed my cancer journey online. (Indeed, being able to attend Jacob’s Ladder was, for me, a personal celebration after the last hellish health year.)

Still, we were shocked – and delighted – when they gave our family a shout out from the stage – pointing to the very intergenerational mixing our family was so proud to continue.

The festival, as always, included Menachem’s corny jokes between sets. The best this year? “What do you call a fake noodle?” “An impasta.”

It’s unlikely that Jacob’s Ladder will be back for its former summer extravaganzas. But we can hope that the weekend at Kfar Blum was enough of a success that the Vinegrads will not be able to say good night just yet.

I first reviewed the possible “last” Jacob’s Ladder for The Jerusalem Post.

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Fine dining with the Houthis

by Brian on October 5, 2025

in Uncategorized

My birthday and my daughter, Merav’s birthday are only a week apart. So, this year, we decided to celebrate together by taking the whole family out to dinner at Janjaria, the over-the-top chef restaurant in the boutique Ramban Hotel in central Jerusalem. Janjaria is operated by the Mahaneyuda Group which has expanded in recent years to offer a number of kosher establishments as well as its traditional treife ones.

Houthi landscape (without missiles)

Janjaria is the kind of place that is frequently sold out, so we were fortunate to find a table for all seven of us. The wait staff pulls up a chair to explain what’s on offer, especially since the menu changes frequently (perhaps not daily as in TV’s The Bear).

We ordered several cocktails, starters including focaccia with homemade humus and muhamarrah (a dip with dried peppers, walnuts and pomegranate molasses), tuna tartare (which, as raw fish, I’m not allowed to eat for another three months following my cancer treatment) and two plates of chickpea-filled sambusak.

For main dishes, I opted for the Spaghettini Arrabiatia – which featured a spicy fish broth, shredded sea bass and cilantro on top of pasta – Merav and Aviv both had butcher block skewers of shishlik on a bed of roasted cabbage (my favorite of all the dishes I sampled from my kids), Gabe had a steak, Jody had a whole piece of lavrak (more sea bass), and Amir went for lamb neck siniyah plate – also outstanding. To end it all – since the evening was to mark our birthdays – there was the obligatory chocolate mousse with a candle on top and seven spoons.

The music was loud – that’s the vibe at all Mahaneyuda Group restaurants – and when we asked, the manager refused to turn it down, so this is not the best place for intimate conversations. But the food was as out of-this-world as was the final bill, which was probably the most we’d ever spent on a single night of fine dining.

Everything should have been perfect. And then we heard it on Merav’s mobile phone – the scritch-scratch warning that everyone in Israel is intimately familiar with now – an alert indicating “incoming missiles; take shelter.”

Darn Houthis again.

You get the scritch-scratch on your phone whether you want it or not. The only way to not hear it is to put your phone on airplane mode, which I do in any case when I go to sleep. (Save your chiding. My wife, Jody, leaves her phone on.)

When we’d hear the scritch-scratch at home, we developed a system. If it was an attack from Iran, we’d immediately head down to our apartment’s shared safe space. But Iran hasn’t attacked with its highly precise and lethal weapons since June – all the ballistic missiles and drones heading our way these days are from the Houthis in Yemen whose aim has been notoriously wonky (a direct hit on Ramon Airport and a hotel in Eilat do not make for a formidable terrorist force, just one that can annoy the heck out of you).

To appropriate my favorite quote from Nuchem Shtisel, who plays Akiva’s shifty uncle and father of his bride, Libby, in the Israeli TV series Shtisel, when the Houthis come a ‘calling, I want to scream out “reshoim arurim,” meaning, in Nuchem’s colorful Yiddish, “Damned wicked people” or “Cursed villains.” Seems appropriate.

The phone alert covers a wide area, but air raid sirens only sound if the missile is headed your way – and with the Houthis, many if not most would be intercepted outside of Israeli airspace or would fall in a location other than where we are in Jerusalem. So, we could be woken up by an alert but not actually need to rush to the shelter.

Jody, being an alert-abiding citizen, would bolt out of bed (for a while, the ideal missile arrival time seemed to be 4:30 am) and head to the shelter when and if the siren sounded. I would usually only get as far as the top of the staircase outside our front door, which was fine until the Houthis started using cluster bombs which can cause more damage over a wider area. At that point, I considered going down the two flights to the shelter, but the siren always seems to stop by the time I get to the stairs and then it seems silly to keep going, with our neighbors already heading back, even though those are the “rules.”

I’ve had sirens sound several times while I was hospitalized, but never in a restaurant. What would we do? I wondered. Could we stay in our seats and pretend it was already over, like at home? Would this ruin the evening?

The wait staff was as clear as the hospital nurses: Head to the safe space … now! I didn’t hear any sirens in the din of hundreds of diners getting up from their tables, although Merav says she did.

What happened next never happens at home.

Most of the restaurant’s patrons were congregated in the stairwell into which pranced the wait staff carrying trays of alcohol – arak and tequila, specifically. They turned the Houthi missiles into an opportunity for additional inebriation. They had obviously discussed and practiced this maneuver.

I hadn’t drunk any alcohol in ages – it doesn’t tend to mix well with my meds – but this time I nursed a shot of tequila. I think we all earned it.

I thought Janjaria’s freshly proffered shots were one-of-a-kind, but my friend Sarah Tuttle Singer was dining at another top-ranked Jerusalem restaurant, Eucalyptus, at the same hour, and there, too, the wait staff brought arak into the safe room.

“We cursed the Houthis, and toasted one another,” Sarah summed up her evening.

Yet another way Israelis are coping with a situation – missiles during dinner – that may be unique in the world.

I first wrote about missiles from Yemen and tequila from Israel for The Jerusalem Post.

Photo by Andrew Svk on Unsplash

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What a way to end it all

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What would I do if the CAR-T didn’t work or didn’t give me the long remission I’m so hoping for? Or a secondary cancer? Would I choose more treatment?

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A few columns back, I wrote about how I almost died while waiting to start the CAR-T cancer treatment that ultimately saved my life. But actually, I did die.

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My brother and I have the opposite problem: While I’m in a race to gain back some of the weight cancer stole from me, he is looking for ways to lose a few pounds. His latest idea: cut out all carbs and sugar. That means no bread, no sandwiches, no pizza or garlic Indian naan; […]

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It takes a village

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When I contracted my second urinary tract infection in a month (infections are probably the most common side effect of the CAR-T treatment for blood cancers that I received and have been writing about over the past several months), I needed some antibiotics in a hurry. The simple act of peeing had become torturously painful […]

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My coma of denial

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Everyone else saw it. My wife, Jody, saw it. My kids all saw it. The few friends who were able to visit me in the hospital saw it. Even my doctors saw it. Everyone but me could see that I was dying. “I don’t think he’s going to make it long enough to start the […]

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